Torch

22 February 2010

Somebody has been to the utility cupboard and dug out the Brilliant Torch.

The Brilliant Torch didn’t take its name from any epic fantasy-type sense, but got so named because its three different lightbulbs were more than enough to make an eight-year-old say ‘Brilliant!’.

They still make a twenty-eight-year-old say ‘Brilliant!’, if they’re lying around unexpectedly on the kitchen table.

The first bulb is a torch. An unflappable, straight-down-the-middle torch, the kind you’d want investigating a crime scene if these familiar walls suddenly turned sinister.

The second bulb is a fluorescent tube. Too large for the casing and oddly blue, never as bright as its size would lead you to expect. It still made the difference between entertainment and boredom overnight on an ill-judged, the only ill-judged, family camping trip.

The third bulb is a warning light, flashing off and orange. When you turn it on in the night-time kitchen, it looks as if the emergency services are attending on the bridge, coping with what the terminally selfish make them cope with there.

These must be new batteries, if the torch still works. The ones I remember leaving in there would be older than the government.

I flash the warning light around the kitchen and go to illuminate the cat.

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7 Responses to “Torch”


  1. Could you take a picture and post it? You’ve piqued my curiosity. Sounds brilliant!


  2. Unfortunately I’m not in the same place as the torch at the moment!

    It would have looked a bit like this http://www.maplin.co.uk/Module.aspx?ModuleNo=5091&C=SO&U=strat15 but with two torch panels on the front (the other one would be the emergency light).

    A cursory google suggests they don’t make them *at all* any more, either because a) everything’s gone over to LEDs mmmph grr or b) you can’t go around putting fluorescent tubes in something children might swing around. Either of those reasons means that if I’d broken it when I got my hands on it this week, I would have been going to the bad place…

  3. Old Kitty Says:

    LOL!

    I have such a crappy imagination. Before I clicked on the link to the pic I had this image of three actual torches – the round kinds – bound together in masking tape or something to hold them together!

    I’m sill laughing..

    Awwww poor cat! You meanie…!!

    ๐Ÿ™‚

    Take care
    x


  4. It’s all right – she didn’t pay any attention to any of them ๐Ÿ™‚

    …which was sort of as expected, but rules out any hope of using her as a guard cat in the twilight of her life ๐Ÿ™‚

  5. Bernita Says:

    I much prefer the term “torch” to our bland, sans-ancestral “flashlight.”


    • Where did flashlight even come from, anyway? It can’t be one of those archaisms-from-a-British-point-of-view that got maintained in common speech on the other side of the Atlantic, unless there were some really careless time travellers around before the Mayflower set sail…


  6. This is a great blog you got here. The theme looks nice, awesome color combination.


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